Feel Better, by Odd Beholder

Feel Better

by Odd Beholder

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transiency I love love love her music!!! And I love the new album. Many familiar thoughts. Stunning result through the reflection of past experiences!!! Favorite track: Insecurities.

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Record/Vinyl + Digital Album
LP on recycled black 140g vinyl. Includes full-colour innersleeve, and folded A2 poster w/ lyrics.

Includes unlimited streaming of Feel Better via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.	Then You Forgive Me 02:39	lyrics	buy track
Today I left my house without a scarf It was just the perfect day to freeze and starve Today I didn’t care to take the bus Left my wallet in the kitchen Cause my good old guilt was itching First you taught me how to blame myself Then you forgive me Then you forgive me Then I’ve finally learned to frame myself But who’s standing with me I need to stand with me now The only thing I had to do was to show up But it was just the prefect day to lose my job Tried so hard to keep my problems in the past But they’re bubbling to the surface Don’t know why I keep on punishing Myself First you taught me how to blame myself Then you forgive me Then you forgive me Then I’ve finally learned to frame myself But who’s standing with me I need to stand with me now Oh my my my my my my I want to apologize But I wish I knew what for Oh my my my my my my I want to apologize But I wish I knew what for
2.	Rifle Club 03:31	lyrics	buy track
Small town bullies walking down the hall Painting dicks on cemetery walls My shoes are dangling from a powerline If I manage not to feel then I’ll be fine It’s hard to grow a pair of breasts in this fucked up town Full of marching bands and peeping toms Sunset and a kiss behind a tree Vodka breath and teenage treachery It didn’t break me that they called me names But then you changed your mind and joined their games While all I needed Was a sister in arms To cope with all the harm Yes it was all Bossed around as if I was a child But lusted after, oh the bigotry You and I we knew what we didn’t need And when you’ve left I faced them all alone While all I needed Was a sister in arms Sister in arms Yes it was all I needed To cope with all the harm Doesn’t matter. Does it matter? When will we all feel better When will we? When will we? When will I?
3.	Woolen Sweater 04:15	lyrics	buy track
So it’s gonna be a Monday Your last day on this earth And it’s true we gotta die someday I guess you lost your nerves And for everything there’s a solution A service that is served You look so thin inside your woolen sweater I hope they give you something to feel better Let’s go outside, and feel once more the weather We could hold hands and say nothing together You look so thin inside your woolen sweater I hope they give you something to feel better Your father made you kneel each Sunday A beating undeserved And even when your death is hours away You wonder what you’re worth And all the pills you take Aid your confusion A service that is served You look so thin inside your woolen sweater I hope they give you something to feel better Let’s go outside, and feel once more the weather We could hold hands and say nothing together You look so thin inside your woolen sweater I hope they give you something to feel better I hope they give you something to feel better My great-grandfather broke your heart And you can’t forgive him ever Haven’t you tried to break the curse? I know you have You don’t have to break your loved one’s heart So they won’t forget you ever Haven’t you tried to break the curse? I think we all deserve much better
4.	Patchwork Girl 04:21	lyrics	buy track
Crawling out of seven different tombs Oh I call them wombs I call them everywoman It isn’t true that there is only one way to give birth Call it witchcraft it’s just a word I made my way down here to earth Seven different tombs Oh I call them wombs I call them everywoman It isn’t true that there is only one way to give birth Call it witchcraft, it’s just a word I made my way down here to earth I made my way down here to earth I have many different mothers The seventh was my lover Yeah, Mary was a good, good girl I’m a patchwork stitched together That knew just how to love her A scary tale, a girl made woman My mothers’ limbs met on a sterile table But a man like Frankenstein just wasn’t able To love his ugly daughter like he loved his ugly son From the graveyard to the trash I made my way up here to earth I made my way up here to earth I’ve got different mothers The seventh was my lover Yeah, Mary was a good, good girl I’m a patchwork stitched together That knew just how to love her A scary tale, a girl made woman The doctor, scared of condemnation, Left me out here for dead Follow any pointed finger and Soon you will discover witches They called me an abomination, They have called her mad But Mary saw me whole While you just saw the scars and stitches
5.	Insecurities 03:25	lyrics	buy track
She’s the one and I’ve got to tell her Look at him her she must know Oh got I act like a creep around her I need to let it go Oh she knows that I want to please her Oh she knows that I care I’ve always been but an awkward dreamer How did I even dare What if she says Come on over now And I can’t recall how to move somehow Whatever she does says Casts a spell on me If I could still move I would be on my knees I can’t say a thing when she get’s closer to me A prisoner of my insecurities Watching him glow from afar Oh what to do with so much affection My overflowing love For all his flawless imperfections I am in free fall I need to leave it up to him now I need to let it float What if he says Come on over now And I can’t recall how to move somehow Whatever he does says Casts a spell on me If I could still move I would be on my knees I can’t say a thing when she get’s closer to me
6.	Dirty Secrets 04:12	lyrics	buy track
Oh when you still found it funny You were not yet in love Oh when you still found it funny You were not yet in love Love will break you Just to save you Love will save you and then leave Love will tell you all your dirty secrets And then leave you Alone with them Love will tell you all your dirty secrets And then leave you Alone Back when you didn’t feel lonely You were not yet in love You were so generous and friendly You were not yet in love Love will expose you Just to forgive you Love will teach you how to cry Love will tell you all your dirty secrets And then leave you Alone Are you already scared enough Are you ready to be found Are you ready to be found out Are you already scared enough Are your ready to be found Are you ready to be found out Love will tell you All your dirty secrets And then leave you alone With them You must be pretty scared Now that you really care
7.	Dogs Like Me 03:47	lyrics	buy track
Mother, dogs like me Don’t like it when you Look them in the eye Grandma, snakes like me Don’t like it when you Try to shake their hands I wish you knew The things I went through Every time we had a family meeting I thought I was a loser I though I was a freak Setting up rules My small ass didn’t understand Now give me the hard Give me the hard hand Father, Butterflies like me Don’t like it when you Take them for a walk Granddad, octopi like me Don’t like it when you tell them To toughen up I wish you knew The things I went through Every time we had a family meeting I thought I was a loser I though I was a freak Setting up rules My small ass didn’t understand Now give me the hard Give me the hard hand I know that you think that our childhood was good But my brother and I were a pack of wolves Mimicking sheep, kicking out teeth And itch that won’t ease Please Little did we know It was all the violence that showed The church, the school, the sexism, classism, racism The be quiet, be nice, be normal The rush of our hormones
8.	Just Because I Regret It 03:56	lyrics	buy track
There I did it I made you cry There I didn’t Say Goodbye There I didn’t Tell you why Oh these fucked up family ties Hello desire To rewind The painful wires In my mind Trauma makes me One of a kind Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve got invisible blinds Just because I regret it Doesn’t mean I won’t do it again and again Just because I repeat it Doesn’t mean that I don’t do everything that I can There I’ve never Written back Ever so clever And back to black And whatever My neurons lack Is giving me another panic attack You’re on a course That you don’t wanna be on Call it a curse You’re on a course That you don’t wanna be on Call it a curse You’re on a course You’ve been here before Say no more
9.	A Stupid Walk 04:57	lyrics	buy track
Darling Won’t you take the world off your shoulder You starting to look tense Darling Won’t you forget tomorrows worries And come into the present tense I know that you feel guilty almost all time I know that you feel heavy Must you always stay inside Let the sunshine in You might just wanna Take a stupid walk in a stupid park Your friends are wondering why your missing Please just try to listen To your ha ha ha heart Healing Takes more time than you have thought But it’s been so much worse back then Feeling More at home in your own life by now Do you remember when You said you re feeling guilty almost all time I know that you feel heavy must you always stay Inside You might just wanna Take a stupid walk in a stupid park Your friends are wondering why your missing Please just try to listen To your ha ha ha heart

about

It's hard to fathom that a record so sensual and chromatic, a record that seeks to possess every cell of your body with kinetic energy, was born as a response to losing someone to assisted suicide. "Feel Better," the third full-length from electro-pop outfit Odd Beholder (aka Daniela Weinmann), was penned shortly after Daniela’s grandfather took his own life as a part of a program called EXIT.* The material that resulted is an attempt to exorcise the spectres of grief and investigate the cultural and familial mechanics that led to his untimely departure. In Daniela’s own words, "this is the record where the Odd Beholder travels back in time, back to that small town, to confront the circumstances that made her who she is today. It’s a coming-of-age story, a genesis."

While writing this material, Daniela posted a statement to her social media channels stating, "Songs write themselves, in a way, and there is only so much about them that you can control." She described the process as an act of translation, where the biggest challenge was to have the discipline "to allow the music and the words to come as they may.” The result is some of the most candid, emotionally infused material in the Odd Beholder catalog to date, set to a coercive melange of body music. There is a bit of Shoegaze, Electro-Pop, New Wave, and Techno here, but the end result is something wholly odd and fully beholderesque. Needless to say, the material came in a flash. It was recorded in Berlin with Douglas Greed behind the boards.

“Feel Better” is a record that was designed with the logic of a modern novel in mind – a non-linear series of vignettes that map the life-mosaic of the main character. The action takes place in the nineties, in a small provincial town in Switzerland, a place full of "bullies, marching bands, and peeping toms" (Rifle Club). Where “every time we had a family meeting, I thought I was a loser, I thought I was freak" (Dogs Like Me). 'Woolen Sweater,' is a portrait of a family waiting for the day of an assisted suicide procedure: “We could hold hands and say nothing together, you look so thin inside your woollen sweater.” 'Insecurities' deals with love knotted in all sorts of awkwardness and anxiety: “I’ve always been but an awkward dreamer." 'Dirty Secret' speaks to brutal lessons that only love can teach: "Will expose you, teach you how to cry, and tell you all your dirty secrets." On 'Just Because I Regret It,' we find out that regret doesn't necessarily "mean I won't do it again and again." 'Patchwork Girl' looks at how society uses a woman's body as a screen to project all sorts of fears onto: “A man like Frankenstein just wasn’t able, to love his ugly daughter how he loved his ugly son.” ‘Then You Forgive Me' speaks to emotional codependency and the art of manipulation: "First, you taught me how to blame myself, then you forgive me." The record closes with a song called 'Stupid Walk:' "Healing takes more time than you have thought. Please just try to listen to your heart. You might wanna take a stupid walk in the park, your friends are wondering why you're missing."

“Feel Better” is a record about finding the courage to explore the dark spaces inside of you so that you can finally move on and live a life on your own terms!

"Feel Better" by Odd Beholder will be released on December 1st, 2023.

*The program provides Swiss residents with access to trained medical professionals who assist them through the procedure.

credits

released December 1, 2023

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about

Odd Beholder Zürich, Switzerland

shows

May 17

Polenta7000

Chur, Switzerland
May 24

Kulturwerk 118

Sursee, Switzerland
May 30

Immergut Festival Grounds

Neustrelitz, Germany
Jul 20

Les Georges Festival

Fribourg, Switzerland

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